HELP! My spouse has ADD!

My wife is out of town this weekend, so I decided to knock some things off my "To Do" list. I always have a mental “To Do” list, but my ADD usually requires a written list as well. At first I could only remember one thing on my mental list, and I wasn't sure what the cat may have done with my written list, since it wasn't where I left it. But, I learned a long time ago that I need to "start" somewhere.

I barely began my first project of putting up a hook in the closet before I had to go to my truck for my bag of tools. On the way to my truck I spotted another project, so I stopped and moved that project to the middle of the floor so I wouldn't forget later on. On my way back from the truck, I passed another project, so I placed a reminder on the stairway so that it would be visible, too. Over time, I probably placed 8 or 10 reminders in view and went from one to the other without interruption. Had I experienced a significant interruption, I had plenty of visible prompts to get busy again. Can you see why I do my best work when there is no one else in the home?

For many people with ADD, if something is out of their sight. it simply is out of their mind. Chores, projects, appointments, even bills can be easily forgotten. That is one reason why your spouse with ADD will likely have a filing system that looks more like clutter, along with piles of notes and paper work. For me, it's usually in an effort to have visual reminders of important stuff. If that doesn't describe your ADD spouse, don't worry. ADD comes in more shapes and sizes than the sum of the national debt.

Understanding or even feeling sorry for a person with ADD is far from what they need. Everyone on this planet has their own individual challenges over their lifetime. Focusing on correcting, chastising or attempting to change another person is not only fruitless, it's absolutely destructive to an individual, couple and family.

Here are 7 Magic words for living with spouses with ADD and other interesting issues:

1. Tolerance
2. Broad-mindedness
3. Open-mindedness
4. Lenience
5. Acceptance
6. Patience
7. Charity

I frequently teach tolerance as the most effective repair for a plethora of individual, family and marital issues. And by the way, did you happen to notice that numbers 2 through 7 are synonyms for tolerance?

ADD - Not Just for the Kids

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is more common than you may think. Many people struggle with learning or retaining new information. Sometimes ADD is evident in people who do not like to read, or have difficulty reading for long periods of time. And just because you didn't seem to have ADD as a child, that doesn't mean you can't struggle with it as an adult.

I am fully aware that ADD/ADHD issues can be frustrating, confusing and embarrassing. I know because I have Adult ADD. I started a journal about my personal experiences with ADD. My journal was originally intended to provide support for my children and grandchildren to whom I unintentionally gifted ADD, ADHD and/or dyslexia. However, I recently published my experiences in a book in an attempt to benefit more people who are challenged with ADD. A portion of the book contains a 60-question self assessment for ADD, as well as the following checklist of common ADD symptoms:


Checklist of Common ADD Symptoms: (If you check any five of the following symptoms you may have adult ADD)

1. I often struggle to get and/or stay focused.
2. I frequently struggle with concentration/paying attention in class or meetings.
3. I have been known to frequently miss-place keys, documents, homework, or other important items.
4. I am distracted rather easily.
5. I have often struggled with remembering and/or memorization.
6. I get confused easily when working with a lot of detail.
7. Sometimes it is difficult to think things all the way through.
8. I have been known to be somewhat disorganized.
9. My performance doesn't always match my skills.
10. I struggle with cursive writing so I often print.
11. My short term memory is frequently a problem.
12. I have often felt I was not as good as I could have been.

View my ADD Self-Assessment questionnaire here to learn more.

Introduction

My name is Cameron Lorenc. I'm a licensed therapist, and this is my blog.

I spent the first twenty-five years of my professional life in business marketing and management with various companies, large and small. I rubbed shoulders with people in various professional settings and cultures. I also spent some time in the U.S. Army and served in Vietnam. After years of studying business and psychology from various colleges and universities, my formal education culminated with my receiving a Masters degree in psychology from Chapman University.

For the last seventeen years, I have been engaged in my “second business life,” utilizing years of diverse experiences and education to assist hundreds of individuals, professionals and families in a variety of settings. Many of my clients have insisted that I have a gift for identifying core issues and then providing education and tools that help people improve their lives.

So many people are consumed with problems associated with stress, a challenging personal relationship, business relationships, sleep-related issues, family challenges, or other concerns. I believe these challenges can be overcome. My purpose for having this blog is to tell you how.

Let's get started, shall we?