HELP! My spouse has ADD!

My wife is out of town this weekend, so I decided to knock some things off my "To Do" list. I always have a mental “To Do” list, but my ADD usually requires a written list as well. At first I could only remember one thing on my mental list, and I wasn't sure what the cat may have done with my written list, since it wasn't where I left it. But, I learned a long time ago that I need to "start" somewhere.

I barely began my first project of putting up a hook in the closet before I had to go to my truck for my bag of tools. On the way to my truck I spotted another project, so I stopped and moved that project to the middle of the floor so I wouldn't forget later on. On my way back from the truck, I passed another project, so I placed a reminder on the stairway so that it would be visible, too. Over time, I probably placed 8 or 10 reminders in view and went from one to the other without interruption. Had I experienced a significant interruption, I had plenty of visible prompts to get busy again. Can you see why I do my best work when there is no one else in the home?

For many people with ADD, if something is out of their sight. it simply is out of their mind. Chores, projects, appointments, even bills can be easily forgotten. That is one reason why your spouse with ADD will likely have a filing system that looks more like clutter, along with piles of notes and paper work. For me, it's usually in an effort to have visual reminders of important stuff. If that doesn't describe your ADD spouse, don't worry. ADD comes in more shapes and sizes than the sum of the national debt.

Understanding or even feeling sorry for a person with ADD is far from what they need. Everyone on this planet has their own individual challenges over their lifetime. Focusing on correcting, chastising or attempting to change another person is not only fruitless, it's absolutely destructive to an individual, couple and family.

Here are 7 Magic words for living with spouses with ADD and other interesting issues:

1. Tolerance
2. Broad-mindedness
3. Open-mindedness
4. Lenience
5. Acceptance
6. Patience
7. Charity

I frequently teach tolerance as the most effective repair for a plethora of individual, family and marital issues. And by the way, did you happen to notice that numbers 2 through 7 are synonyms for tolerance?